But I kept seeing these t-shirts with the funniest phrases on them. So, I am going share. Here are some of my favorites.
Don't make me break out my Flying Monkeys
I started out with NOTHING and I STILL have MOST of it LEFT
I have multiple personalities and none of them like you
I tried being good, but I got bored
WARNING
I have gas and I know how to use it!
I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.
Shut the DUCK up! (there is a duck with duct tape around it's beak)
DANGER
Mouth Operates Faster Than Brain
SARCASM
Just one more service I provide.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin (apparently it really is a quote from good old Benny)
I didn't say it was YOUR FAULT.
I said I was going to BLAME YOU.
The older I get the less a lifetime guarantee is worth to me....
You don't have to be crazy to work here.
We'll train you.
Time Flies When You Are Having Rum!
My two favorites were actually welcome mats:
(this one had a dog and a cat smiling up at you)
We're so excited to see you we don't know
whether to pee on the floor or tear up the couch!
AND the last one....(ha, this one still makes me laugh)
Well, butter my butt & call me a biscuit look who's here!
I started out with NOTHING and I STILL have MOST of it LEFT
I have multiple personalities and none of them like you
I tried being good, but I got bored
WARNING
I have gas and I know how to use it!
I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.
Shut the DUCK up! (there is a duck with duct tape around it's beak)
DANGER
Mouth Operates Faster Than Brain
SARCASM
Just one more service I provide.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin (apparently it really is a quote from good old Benny)
I didn't say it was YOUR FAULT.
I said I was going to BLAME YOU.
The older I get the less a lifetime guarantee is worth to me....
You don't have to be crazy to work here.
We'll train you.
Time Flies When You Are Having Rum!
My two favorites were actually welcome mats:
(this one had a dog and a cat smiling up at you)
We're so excited to see you we don't know
whether to pee on the floor or tear up the couch!
AND the last one....(ha, this one still makes me laugh)
Well, butter my butt & call me a biscuit look who's here!
2 comments:
Oh my. Tears. Wiping. I read them aloud to Zach, who is also cracking up. Awesome.
Wow- I think I need about half of those made into bumper stickers. Butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Hahahahahahahhaa!! I think I want to anchor in a southern state, just so I can learn how to talk hick.
A t-shirt I want to get says: "I think, therefore I'm vegetarian." The one I want to get for my husband says (with a picture of a big steak): "Meat is Murder. Tasty, tasty murder."
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