Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Musings on Fat

I've been thinking about my fat lately. My excess fat. Been meditating on it. And I have found quite the spiderweb of emotional issues attached to it that I never thought were there. Needless to say it has been a very interesting journey.

These are some of my findings. (Note, when I say skinny I don't mean skin and bones. Just slim and lovely, with no bulges in places I don't want them.)

I feel guilty about being skinny, looking too good.
I'm afraid that others will be jealous if I have a slim, trim flat I have been jealous.
I feel like I don't deserve to have a body that doesn't have excess fat.
Part of me feels doomed to have "bad genes".
I'm a little scared of extra attention from others if I'm skinny.
And again, I don't want others that aren't skinny to feel bad.

Huh. No wonder my body holds on to fat, and especially around my tummy.

I don't want to have to eat perfectly for the rest of my life to be skinny. Or run a million miles all of the time to have that lovely slim look. It isn't me. And I wonder if I work on emotional attachments to my fat what will happen.

So the experiment has begun. Starting with a Ho'oponopono prayer for my beloved fat. (I say Light instead of Creator because it makes more sense to me for personal reasons.)

Dear Light
I am sorry for whatever is in me that causes these emotions to come up in my life.
I am sorry for whatever is in me that causes me to have excess fat on my body.
Please forgive me, and clear these from me completely.
Thank you.
And I love you.