Thursday, December 11, 2008

Farther Behind Than I Thought

I finally mustered up the courage to sugar my legs again. Just in case you had forgotten, last time I only got one strip of leg done before I realized my sugar concoction wasn't the right consistency. That was over three weeks ago. For three weeks I have had one smooth stripe in my left leg among all of my fleeciness. It took my social nonconformancey (I think that is a new word) to a new level.

But today I tried it again. Boiled it longer this time. It looked promising. And after my shower I sat down on the bathroom floor with my bowl of sugaring, a towel and cornstarch(so my skin would be appropriately dry and sticky things would want to adhere to it).

I grabbed a glob and proceeded to spread it on my skin. After making sure I pulled my skin taut I ripped away. It didn't hurt. I'm lying. But it didn't hurt bad enough to make me want to stop. So I found myself spreading goop with a vengeance. Ripping all over the place. Wincing. And then doing it again. The goop would only last a couple of strips before it got too goopy. I would then scrape it off onto a plate and grab some more. It was quite satisfactory to see my pile of hairy goop growing. All of that hair that was now not in my legs. :D

At one point I became consciously aware of this anger secretly slipping out. Even though it hurt, I didn't care. There were times when I almost attacked my legs with the stuff. Ripping with glee. Hating my hair. Hating all of the emotions of inadequacy, manliness(my leg hairs are longer than many a guy's), unfairness, not feeling beautiful, not feeling like someone would want to love a hairy beast. Ugh. Didn't I just spend a year and a half pointedly not shaving to make peace with my leg hair? Peace with myself? Damn.

I didn't finish my legs. Yes, I know, no one is surprised. I ran out of sugar. So my calves of 3/4ths the way done. I can feel all of my little pores tingling.

5 comments:

karlee said...

the other day i said to michelle that your leg hair is your battle.

i love reading, you're so candid!

Michellie said...

the battle of the leg hair on the bathroom floor...it's so poetic. viva la anger full moon!

Sahara said...

lol poetic. Thanks Kar!

Summer said...

Careful- I think you just explained the mystery that is woman.

We don't want the secret out, do we?

Sahara said...

mum's the word.