Wednesday, April 14, 2010


I made a salad for lunch. It didn't look quite as amazing as this one, but you get the point. Then I went outside, sat on my porch and ate in the delicious Springness. There was organic baby greens, avocados, pine nuts, raisins, and onions all topped with some balsamic vinaigrette. Oh and tuna. Yeah, I know. The tuna is weird. I didn't even really want to put it in, but this little voice in my head told me to. It told me that I needed some protein and omega somethings so I had better put it in. And I did. And yes, it was weird. But that was when it hit me.

I have become disconnected from my food. I still enjoy it, usually. I still notice tastes, textures and colors, sometimes. But often I pick what I am going to eat because I am afraid. Afraid, of not being healthy enough, skinny enough, beautiful enough. Afraid of not being enough. And then I eat because I feel bad, or depressed or whatever. It is kind of all the same. I am not really eating because I want to eat that avocado, but I am using the avocado to quell my fear.

It is not that I force myself to eat avocados. I really do like them. I just want to reconnect with my food a little more. Let go of my fears a little more. Be a little more free.


Lia said...

Thanks for putting this up. You've really got me thinking.

Suz said...

I try to eat healthy..... most of the time I enjoy it, and do quite well at on staying on track.
Uhh then there is the pint of " ben and jerrys" coffee health bar crunch that screams at me.

We need balance also. I like to balance the ice cream with my healthy choices every now and then.

The salad sounds so good!!!



Anonymous said...

nice one~
I like all the pictures you upload especially the pictures of the flowers...Hoping you can upload more pictures fro your garden...Honestly, they are lovely^^

ratherbrunnin said...

I think you and I have quite a bit more in common than hmms and gardening.

Sahara said...

Hmmm mmmm. :)

Hollie said...

How do you cut avocado so perfectly? I'd love to make that salad at my next dinner party but I won't do it unless you share your 'slicing' secret. :)

Sahara said...

haha, well I didn't actually make that salad. Unfortunately. But make it anyway! Yum.