Rainy Spring Gardens

First and foremost the lilacs! There are lilacs! Life is officially good.

This is my new planted pot full of petunias that are going to drape everywhere.

(The picture is a bit tippy since I was rushing in the rain)

I find myself going into garden areas at the store and just buying stuff. Half the time I don't even know what it is. Rhododendron. (I didn't know they could grow here...)

Gorgeous pink blooms of some other plant that I got. No, I can't remember the name.
But it is gorgeous, no?

Reconnecting

I made a salad for lunch. It didn't look quite as amazing as this one, but you get the point. Then I went outside, sat on my porch and ate in the delicious Springness. There was organic baby greens, avocados, pine nuts, raisins, and onions all topped with some balsamic vinaigrette. Oh and tuna. Yeah, I know. The tuna is weird. I didn't even really want to put it in, but this little voice in my head told me to. It told me that I needed some protein and omega somethings so I had better put it in. And I did. And yes, it was weird. But that was when it hit me.

I have become disconnected from my food. I still enjoy it, usually. I still notice tastes, textures and colors, sometimes. But often I pick what I am going to eat because I am afraid. Afraid, of not being healthy enough, skinny enough, beautiful enough. Afraid of not being enough. And then I eat because I feel bad, or depressed or whatever. It is kind of all the same. I am not really eating because I want to eat that avocado, but I am using the avocado to quell my fear.

It is not that I force myself to eat avocados. I really do like them. I just want to reconnect with my food a little more. Let go of my fears a little more. Be a little more free.

They survived!

My tulips survived that awful, nasty, no-good freak snow. (:D)

Here they are peaking through the lilac bush.

And I planted basil! Feeling so garden-y.